So today is quite a big topic which is very close to my heart. I have lost both of u parents my dad died when I was 14, that is 17 years ago!!! And my mum died when I was 25 which was 6 years ago this April just gone.
I felt such a huge loss when my mum passed away, it was worse for me than loosing my dad, why you ask?
Well when my dad died I had my mum to hold my hand, wipe my tears and to crawl into bed with when i had nightmares.
My dad died in his sleep, it was as peaceful as you could hope it would be for someone you love, my mum died slow and it was so heart breaking.
My mum has lung disease it lead to a collapsed lung and lots of treatments and hospital stays.
Why am I writing this... I didn't ever think I would write a post about my parents and loving and missing them but when I said to said to someone the other week I really miss my mum and really need her right now because I am having a tough time. And quite honestly I was not expecting the response i got.
I know you miss your mum terribly and please don't take this the wrong way but I think you need to accept she's no longer here.
It will help you heal.
She loved you with all her heart and deep down you know she taut you everything you need to cope with anything. However I think sometimes you haven't accepted that she's no longer here and you struggle to move past it.
Well this flawed me ... For the record she still has both her parents.
I am here to say to anyone who has lost one or both parents.. It's ok after 3 months, 1 year, 5 years or 20, 30 plus years it's ok to miss them, want them and need them.
Will I ever get over not having my parents, especially my mum ... No probably not, there isn't enough therapy in the world to make it ok that they are not here.
It's ok to have a bad day and cry like a baby! It's ok to not be ok with them being gone.
Every day will be easier because you learn to live with it.
Don't let someone else make you feel like your feelings shouldn't be there, own your own feelings and it's ok!
Sorry if I'm rambling Iv never really spoken out loud about missing them, I well not in depth anyway.
I will ALWAYS miss my parents and I will always need my mum, I didn't learn everything I needed to know before she died, I barely had a chance to scratch the surface of knowing her, I didn't get a chance to ask all the parenting questions I have now, to be honest when I had my daughter tht was when I needed my mum the most.
I am so lucky to have my parents, they were amazing, my mother was my best friend, she was so ok with me and never judged me. I was lucky enough that mum and I always got on.
That's the beauty of your mum who you have a bond with like I did she loved me unconditionally, and it's very hard if not impossible to find a friend who won't judge you. I know my mum isn't coming back nor my dad, I am not that silly it doesn't matter if you "accept" they are not here it doesn't automatically stop you missing them or needing them.
I will always remember to love my daughter unconditionally and I will do my best to never leave here although I know it's a promise I have no control over.
Sorry if I bored you a little but I just had to get it off my chest.