Tuesday 12 June 2018

PARENTING: Gender Disappointment

Growing up I always thought I would be a Mum of girls, I grew up mainly amongst women and girls is all Iv ever know. 

I can say hand on heart when we were choosing to add a second addition to our family did I ever think I would have a boy, it just never crossed my mind. 

So I hit 16 weeks excited and so glad to be going to baby bond and ultrasound direct in Cosham (read all about our early gender scan here). This was a great experience for us but whilst I was lying on the Doctors bed with gel on my tummy seeing our little baby on the big TV and up comes the “potty shot”, there it was in full TV glory a massive scrotum...... there was no mistaking that at all. 

My daughters face dropped as the sonographer said “congratulations it’s a boy” tears started to fall down her cheeks, she so desperately wanted a little sister and in that moment my feelings were pushed to the side. I had to be strong for my little girl, she was devastated. 

One she was settled and pictures printed and I got home and had 5 minutes to process the thought of having a son, my heart sank. I felt guilty for how I felt, tears filled my eyes and I disappointed myself with how I felt. How could I feel this way? Shouldn’t I be happy I’m having another baby, a much wanted baby. 

Some googling later and I realised ok to feel this way, many mothers and mothers to be have felt this way. It’s called gender disappointment and man it sucks and not everyone will be ok with someone having these very real feelings. 

There are groups of like minded parents to be who are going through or have gone through the same feelings and it’s ok to cry! 

I cried and cried for 24 hours straight, my friend Kim kept me sane during this time and let me vent.